A Christian's Guide to Civil Online Discourse
Trent Horn recently published a video talking about how his wife was the target of unwarranted verbal attacks. Something she said was taken out of context, misconstrued, and then turned into a false rumor. Trent addresses the accusations, provides the full context, clarifies, and then proves them to be falsehoods.
At the end of his video, he includes some scripture verses I found really helpful in framing how to conduct yourself with online discussions (that can often get out of hand). Here are some of the principles and verses I’d like to share, plus a few of my own I’m adding in.
The Fruit of the Spirit As A Framework
Galatians 5:22-23 says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.”
These key attributes are the framework by which we ought to start, continue, and end any of our online discussions. In particular, are we actually exercising patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control? Generally those seem the first to go if we don’t check ourselves.
Especially when engaging with anonymous profiles, it’s easy to dehumanize the person behind the profile picture. However, we shouldn’t fold. God created every human being in His image.
Speaking with Grace & Living Peaceably
Colossians 4:6 says: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Not only does this set a standard for a certain level of conduct, but it also suggests that we should be responding to people in the first place. Some may want to opt-out of discussions entirely, but to me that seems like we’re abandoning our responsibility to respond.
Romans 12:18 says: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“If possible” is the key phrase here - many will refuse to play ball, and that’s OK. But so far as it depends on you, you must make an effort to live peaceably with everyone.
Exposing Sin
Ephesians 5:10-11 says: “…try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
Just because we’re supposed to conduct ourselves in a gracious manner doesn’t mean we’re not supposed to expose evil when we see it. And for those higher in trait agreeableness (the personality trait), it may be tough to venture down this road.
It’s a fine line between understanding what’s petty and what’s exposing something more serious. This requires prayer, discernment, and resisting a mere knee-jerk reaction. It’s imperative to be prudent and not resort to an emotional outburst, but instead to proceed with biblical wisdom.
Even Jesus’ Words Were Misconstrued
Mark 14:57-58 says: “…some stood up and bore false witness against him, saying, ”We heard him say, ‘I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and in three days I will build another, not made with hands.'''”
Meanwhile, what Jesus actually said was: “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” (John 2:19)
Those who hated Jesus wanted to interpret what he said in the least charitable light possible, even to the point of lying about what he said.
I’d argue most people who’ve engaged in online discourse have felt their positions were unfairly mischaracterized, whether maliciously or not. And that’s incredibly frustrating, especially when you want to send a particular message.
Redirect Your Frustrations to God
1 Peter 5:7 says: “Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.”
There’s no reason to hold onto feelings of hatred or malice - it actually is a burden to you, not the subject of your frustration. Christ invites us to give up all of our burdens to him.
In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
We Should Forgive Those Who Wrong Us - Even if They Don’t Want It
When Jesus was reviled and mocked, here’s how he responded:
In Luke 23:34, Jesus prays: “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.”
He didn’t resort to name-calling or retaliation. He offered a prayer on their behalf, asking for forgiveness.
Philippians 2:3 says: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Personally speaking, it’s incredibly freeing to do this. When combined with casting your frustrations to God, you’re free to forgive those who have wronged you and are no longer burdened by it.
Surely, there’s a limit to how many times you should forgive someone, no?
Matthew 18:21-22 says: “Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”
Surely not your enemies! Or those who don’t deserve it!
Matthew 5:44-4 says: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
The point is to forgive always, regardless of who it is, because God forgives even us, wretched sinners.
Being Persecuted is a Blessing, Actually
Matthew 5:11-12 says: “Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.”
You should feel emboldened to speak the truth, especially the gospel, regardless of the consequences (easier said than done of course). Maybe be more like Paul:
In Romans 1:16, Paul says: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”
Trolls (Typically) Aren’t Worth Responding To
Proverbs 26:4 says: “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”
While the Bible instructs us to prepare ourselves to respond to anyone, there is a provision for those who are essentially trolls. They are often not worth responding to. We must patiently endure evil, but we should have nothing to do with foolishness or ignorance.
2 Timothy 2:23-24 says: “Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil.”
There are rare occasions, however, where engaging with trolls is an opportunity to help spread the gospel further, or to make clearer a point of truth. However, that is very much the exception rather than the rule for engaging with trolls.
Conclusion
First of all, while I consider these tactics to be in-line with the teachings of Christianity, I’ll be the first to admit I do not follow them perfectly. Far too often I have given in to my passions and let my emotions take over.
Secondly, I acknowledge this is a difficult standard to maintain with discourse, especially online. Nevertheless, I believe it’s worth striving towards.
In my experience I’ve noticed a drastic change in character from an otherwise completely hostile actor. When an initial reaction to something I’ve said is fiery, I try to respond with a thoughtful question or kindness rather than barking something back. On numerous occasions they’ve radically softened their countenance and other times I’ve gotten actual heartfelt apologies, and that feels like a victory.
Mud-slinging back in reply doesn’t make you special. That’s merely surrendering to your carnal instincts. Try killing with kindness. That will generally leave you far more satisfied than settling for a tit for tat squabble - and more importantly, it’s what God wants us to do.